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Biz Buddies Episode #10 — The Fallacy of Fear

Fear. It’s what stops most of us from doing the things we most want to do in life. At least some of the time. We’ve all heard the sound bites like “No Fear” and “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. But the subject deserves a bit more exploration than that.

Niamh talks about how from the outside we can look at other, very successful people, and imagine that they approach the big things they do all full of courage and without any fear. But they may have felt the same kinds of fears that we do back when they first started out.

Jen talks about her fear of launching (which she is doing anyway right now! If you want to check out the program that she just launched you can find her Mastering Money Matters program here!) And the fears that come up at different times in life about failing, being called out on failing and all the rest.

Niamh talks about her fears around doing this podcast. This episode was recorded before we actually launched, and Niamh suddenly realized that once the podcast starts, she will have to actually let her list and audience know that she thing new coming out every single week!

Many of the fears that we all have both in business and life are concerned with what other people think. What they think about what we do, what we create, the way we say things, how we look. There maybe an evolutionary basis in social fears in terms of not wanting to get kicked out of the tribe because then I will die. But these days, that is rarely actually the case.

We also talk about privilege, white privilege, our own privilege, and our fears about our voices helping or hurting others who may not as easily access platforms from which to amplify their voices.

Niamh’s free 30-day Ignite Video Challenge is just about to wrap up, but you can still join it and get in on the fun right here!

Let’s explore what is really behind our fears and how those fears relate to our own personal realities.


Want to be the first to learn more about the Biz Buddies group coming soon and our magical retreat in Ireland coming (hopefully) some time 2018? (If we get enough interest we will set it up!) Sign up for notification HERE!

Episode #78 Visibility and Movement with Linda Ugelow

Today I am pleased to have Linda Ugelow on the show. Linda is a Visibility and Confidence coach with a Master’s degree in Expressive Therapy.  In her work, Linda helps people clear the visibility blocks that keep them from moving forward through movement.

Linda shares how when you are able to identify these impacting influences and clear them away, suddenly you have so much more energy and confidence. This then makes putting yourself out there a peak experience and you can thrive in the connecting instead of wishing for the moment to end. Linda herself has been a performer for 35 years as a dancer, and although she is comfortable dancing in front of others, she was not at all comfortable speaking on stage.  In fact, she would avoid it at all costs. It took a process for her to feel confident enough to introduce herself on stage, and now brings her knowledge to others.

Our conversation explores how historically women have not been very well prepared to deal with wealth.  It was men who took the financial reins most of the time, even when it was the woman who had the money to begin with – it’s just the way things were done. With more and more wealth coming into women’s lives through various mediums, be it self-generated, inherited or as a settlement, women are having to learn how to manage having wealth and the visibility that it inevitably brings about. Fear of losing the money, guilt of having more than others, fear of being judged, or not fitting in with their peers is a reality for many women who have wealth.

Prior to starting her online business, Linda she was an organic farmer, growing specialty vegetables for local restaurants which fit her introverted personality. Inspired by business coaches like Marie Forleo, she began applying all of the concepts of niche marketing to obtain raving fans to her own business. She soon came to the realization that she herself wanted to help others grow, and that was what she was meant to do.

Today accessibility to online business tools is easier than ever, and it is allowing for more women to start up businesses with little capital investment. When she started her business about 1 ½ years ago, Linda was bootstrapping it, and she was very proud of that. She felt as though walking the walk was more credible in her quest to help others create their future with little monetary investment. When her mother passed, she inherited some money, and found herself in a position to be able to to invest in her business. This created a struggle within herself as she felt that she was somehow cheating, and had to do a lot of money block clearing.

We also discuss the impact an inheritance has on our children, and how having the conversations beforehand can really make a difference in their success. Also, avoiding having strings or conditions for obtaining the inheritance can establish a healthier attitude towards money in general in our children, and empower them to make the best possible decisions for themselves.

Linda Shares Her Message Here

Many entrepreneurs and business women feel uncomfortable speaking publicly on camera or live on stage. This impacts the opportunities that they have available to them to get in front of their audience to get known and to share their knowledge. The fear itself is what is so uncomfortable and it feels impenetrable. However, It’s really more like layers of veils comprised of impacting past experiences, limiting self and cultural beliefs, your own thinking process.

My process and suggestions are to:
1) Release these past impacting memories, beliefs and practices;
2) Restore your sense of safety being seen and heard;
3) Expand your capacity to hold more feelings of confidence, relaxation, gratitude;
4) Rehearse for refined communication;
5) Relay your message with your new radiant presence.

Getting on camera or stage doesn’t have to be dreaded. It can, in fact, be a peak experience and one that you look forward to expand your sense of being.

Quotes 

  • “The guilt with inheriting money does seem to fall heavier on women from my observations.”  -Jen Turrell
  • “I feel that in terms of passing on a nest egg to our children is more about us helping them identify what they feel a life worth living is about, and identify ways that they feel compelled to make a difference in the world.”  – Linda Ugelow

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Financial Fluency Podcast, Linda UgelowLinda Ugelow is a Visibility and Confidence coach helping entrepreneurs overcome self consciousness being seen and heard, whether live on stage, TV, on video or in front of the photographer’s camera. With her Master’s in expressive therapies and 35 years of performing experience, she get’s her clients comfortable in their skin so their inner authority, presence and charisma shine through. She has been featured on Positively Positive, The Huffington Post, the Positive Psychology Program, and Mind-Body Green.

You can connect with Linda on her website at www.lindaugelow.com, on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/lindaugelow/ and on her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/lindaugelowbiz/

Episode #66 Equality Pays with Michelle Gyimah

Today I have the very lovely Michelle Gyimah with me on Financial Fluency. Michelle is a tech gender equality consultant, a tech startup improver, trainer, and speaker. She worked for over six years at the Equality and Human Rights Commission in the UK, helping employers work within the bounds of equality law, especially in regards to maternity leave. In the midst of her own maternity leave, she decided that she wanted to strike out on her own and provide consulting for businesses and employees as an entrepreneur.

In our discussion, we cover in depth the feelings of vulnerability and fear that women encounter when revealing their pregnancy to their employer. We talk about how women might choose to become self-employed because of how their employers treat them around pregnancy and child care. We talk about how startups can provide a safe and comfortable culture for women.

Quotes

  • “Even though my employer was quite amazing, when I was pregnant I had this sense of vulnerability, thinking ‘I hope I’m able to keep my job because I really need to keep it.’” – Michelle
  • “Even though the legislation in the UK and the US is on polar opposite ends of scale in terms of leave, many of the social issues are the same.” – Michelle
  • “Even if you can take 12 weeks of unpaid leave, what if you can’t take 12 weeks of unpaid leave? What if you need the money?” – Jen
  • “The message is you can have a career if you don’t have a baby, which is wrong.” – Michelle
  • “It’s like we’re telling women from a young age that they can be anything, but as soon as they decide they want to have a family we’re like ‘Oooh, we forgot to tell you, you can’t mix the two.” – Michelle
  • “It’s only a short amount of time that you are going to have a young family that’s going to depend on you in terms of time. That’s a very limited way of looking at people.” – Michelle
  • “[In startup culture], we want to view women as more than consumers, we want to view them as creators too. Women need to feel safe, valued and wanted. It’s not just a boys club for start-ups.” – Michelle
 To connect with Michelle and learn more about her advice for employers and employees alike, check her out on LinkedIn and at www.equalitypays.co.uk.

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michelle2Michelle is a tech gender equality consultant, startup improver, inclusive business builder, speaker, and trainer.

She’s passionate about working with tech companies (whatever their size) to help them improve their gender diversity, specifically how to attract and keep female staff and working mothers and how to save their organization money by not ending up in employment tribunal.

Through customized company assessments she can identify problem areas and produce a customized plan of action that will dramatically improve your gender diversity and your return on investment.

She’s dedicated to partnering with UK and US Women in Tech thought-leaders to mainstream the improvement of gender diversity in tech.