Two unexpected questions to ask yourself before buying a house


Whether it’s your first home (yey – congrats!) or you’re upgrading, downsizing or simply fancy a change I have two ABSOLUTELY crucial questions you need to ask yourself before you sign on that line.

  1. Are you happy with your job?
  2. Are you happy with your relationship?

If the answer to either of these questions is no, I want you to stop and give some serious thought to what it would take for the answer to both of those questions to be yes.

  • Would it take getting a promotion?
  • Moving to a different department in your current company?
  • Getting a new job entirely?
  • Would that possibly require moving to a different location?
  • A different city or state?
  • What about leaving your job and going out on your own?
  • Have you always dreamed of freelancing or being a small business owner?

And what about your relationship? If you aren’t happy in your current relationship the way it is, what would it take for you to be happy?

  • Are you working so much right now that you don’t get to spend enough time with your significant other?
  • Or the other way around?
  • Would you need for them to change in a significant or fundamental way?
  • Do you need them to work less, be more attentive, drink less, be more affectionate?
  • Do you need a commitment from them that they aren’t willing to make?
  • Do they treat you the way you want to be treated?
  • And value you and what you bring to the relationship?
  • What is the future of this relationship?

Why Are These Two Questions SO Important?

Why do I think it is important to think about these two things before deciding to buy a home?

Because as awesome as homeownership can be, it locks you into a location and a lifestyle in a way that few other things do. If you aren’t happy with your job, take the steps you need to in order to be happy with your job BEFORE you buy the house.

And the same goes with your relationship. Don’t buy a house with someone, or pay for the house that both of you will live in, unless you are really happy with that relationship and see it moving forwards towards the future you want.

The last thing I want to see for any woman is feeling like they are financially trapped in a bad relationship.

That down payment money in your bank account can also be your freedom fund if you need it to be. It can give you the freedom to find or create the job that will make you excited to get up and go to work every day. It can also give you the freedom to leave a relationship that is bad for you, or even just not quite right, before getting locked into a long term payment plan with someone you may not want to be with next year.

If the answer to both of those questions was a definitive YES! Then here is the next one to ask: Do you plan to live here in this house for at least the next 5 years or more? Why? Because unless you are in the business of flipping houses which takes all of the fees and closing costs into account when calculating a profit, most people should not be paying all of those fees and costs more than once every 5 years at most if they hope to make owning worth it over renting.

If the answer to that last question is yes as well, then, and only then, would I say it’s time to look at the numbers and make sure that the this particular house makes financial sense for you. Here is a great calculator from to help you figure out how much house you can afford.

Personally I advise buying a bit less house than you think you can afford in favor of saving and investing more while maintaining a comfortable lifestyle that won’t make you feel restricted or stretched.

What do you think is the most important consideration before buying? Do you agree with me? Let me know in the comments!

If you feel like you want to have a better plan for the future of your finances but don’t know where to start book yourself a FREE consult with me HERE. We’ll tackle the most pressing issue and I’ll give you your next steps towards financial fluency.

Psssssst! Did you miss it?

Your Ultimate List Of The Web’s Best Resources On How To Save Money And Feel Wealthy is here.

Saving money and feeling wealthy is easier than you think.

This guide will give you practical steps to finally taking control of your finances and start saving money.

Need a little more help and accountability, check out my Mastering Money Matters monthly membership group right here.

How to convince yourself you’re good with money

What do dog training, couples’ therapy and money management all have in common? Positive reinforcement

And there’s a good reason that this method is used across such a broad spectrum. IT WORKS!

So how do you positively reinforce the behavior you want to encourage in your dog, your spouse, or yourself? The secret is catching them, or yourself, doing the thing you want to reinforce.

How to you catch yourself doing the right things with your money?

With my dogs I try to catch them doing the desired behavior and reward them with a treat, with praise, and lots of petting.

This way of thinking works in relationships too. Rather than catching your partner doing things that upset you and nagging them or getting angry about it, it’s so much more effective to catch them doing the positive thing and really reinforce it instead.

When it comes to catching yourself doing good things with money, the purpose is to convince yourself that you are good with money, you can handle your own money, you can get out of debt, you can build your business, and you can do all the things you want to do. On a daily basis start noticing when you do something good. You can even set a timer on your phone.

I have my Fitbit alarm go off at 10, noon and 2. Part of that is to make sure I’m on track with my daily step count, part of it is to make sure I’m on track with my schedule for both work and my kids. Pick-ups, drop-offs, and that I don’t forget to eat lunch.

But, those are also the times of day when I try to take stock of what I’ve done so far and what I still need to do. And it is a great time to take note of any money decisions you have made so far, and anymore that you plan to make before the end of the day.

An example

Today, I was considering getting a Mofie Juice Pack for my iPhone. Isn’t a super expensive thing. Now that I’m using Periscope my phone tends to run out of battery a lot more than it used to, so extra battery power would be nice and convenient.

So, I thought, “Hm, should I get this?” I try to practice a “not now” approach for unplanned purchases. I was in Sam’s Club buying a printer because I needed that, and I thought, “Ok. I’m going to take a picture of this, and I’m going to think about getting it, but I’m not going to get it now. I’ll just put it on my list for later, and if I decide to get it I’ll put it ON a list and buy it.”

Collect Evidence

Later, I told myself,

“Ok. I just saved $90 today by not buying that Mophie Juice Pack.”

It was a little thing, but I can use it as evidence. Collect evidence that you are good with money. Catch yourself making good money decisions.

By doing this, over time you’ll not only notice when you’re being good with money, but you’ll notice more and more opportunities to be good with money all around you.

The more you look the more you’ll see

You’ll notice times when there is a little more left over at the end of the month than you expected so you can put more into savings, more into retirement or towards other savings goals. And, doing it little by little, catching yourself making good decisions day by day, it really reinforces your idea of yourself as someone who is good with money.

With my dogs, the more I notice and reinforce the behaviors that I want, the more I think of them as good dogs (and possibly the more they think of themselves as good dogs).

With my husband too, the more we notice and catch each other doing things that make us feel like we’re good spouses to each other the more we feel like we are, and the more we actually are.

I’d love to know what you’ve been noticing about your habits – let me know in the comments below.

Psssssst! Did you miss it?

Your Ultimate List Of The Web’s Best Resources On How To Save Money And Feel Wealthy is here.

Saving money and feeling wealthy is easier than you think.

This guide will give you practical steps to finally taking control of your finances and start saving money.

Need a little more help and accountability, check out my Mastering Money Matters monthly membership group right here.