Episode #111 — What do you really want? with Hilary Silver
As moms, daughters, friends, and wives, sometimes we all get pulled in so many directions by all of our different relationships that we can lose sight of ourselves and what we really want, both in the moment and in long game of our lives. This can look like everything from chronically saying “I don’t know, whatever everyone else wants is fine with me” to looking around at your life one day and realizing that you aren’t anywhere you ever really wanted to be. Your emotions, your reactions, your anxiety, your jealousy, your feelings about the things you encounter, these are clues you can use to find your way back to you so you can start to honor all of the relationships in your life by honoring the one you have with yourself first. This is the kind of work that Hilary Silver does. Hilary transitioned from brick and mortar counseling work to working online as a relationship expert and empowerment coach, both one on one and with groups, so she could reach more people who struggle both with their relationships with others and their relationship with themselves.
Here are a few tips from Hilary.
- You can’t have what you want in your life and your relationships if you don’t know what that is and how to go after it and get it. A lot of people (moms anyone?) spend so much time taking care of everyone else around them that they lose touch with themselves so much that they don’t actually know what they want anymore. So tip one is to figure out what you want. Need help? Go on to tip 2.
- Observe yourself. Watch yourself watch TV. What movies or commercials make you well up with tears or laugh out loud? What makes you angry or jealous? How do you feel when you watch shows about politics. Your emotions are your clues to the things that are most important to you.
- If you don’t know what you want and don’t ask for it, you end up feeling resentful and being unhappy. Once you learn your truth, learn how to speak it effectively without cutting people off or alienating the people who aren’t used to you speaking your truth yet. Baby steps.
- If you feel resentful you haven’t said something you want to say, or you are doing something you don’t want to do, or you aren’t doing something that you do want to do. You have control over what you say and what you do. You are responsible for making the changes required to get what you want and what you need in life. Say the things you want to say and do the things you want to do!
To find out more about Hilary visit her website at www.hilarysilver.com or follow her on social media
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Hilary is a Relationship & Intimacy Expert and Master Coach. She is the founder of Hilary Silver Coaching & Consulting, and the creator of lifestyle brand Hot, Healthy Happy, which teaches LOVERS how to have more intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in their relationships so they can keep their love and passion alive for the long term.
With 15 years of experience as a licensed couples therapist, she has worked with thousands of clients on issues such as launching healthy relationships, communication and conflict, infidelity, intimacy, sex and lasting passion.
